Burning Bridges
I believe it’s reasonable to cut predatory personalities from your life; the people who intentionally make you feel inferior, and leave you feeling unsure about your relational standings — all the while, holding plausible deniability.
I will not permit people who do not support me to be involved in my life. I will not tolerate emotional predators. Whether conscious or ignorant of their actions, no one will be permitted to take time that I value and use it against me.
It is up to each of us what relationships we choose to hold. I am choosing to remove the predatory personalities. Some may still be around, but they will not be allowed any say or weighted opinion in my life. I can not stop a person from speaking what’s on their heart, but i can choose to accept or reject it.
While listening to Cosmic Habit Force, I had an odd suspicion that Mitch Horowitz wrote a chapter about the individual I am referring to. Habit 20: Avoid Predatory Personalities deals directly with emotional vampires. These people use “emotional power plays, almost always with plausible deniability to keep you unsteady, needful, or confused.” Confronting these kinds of people gets you nowhere. And yes, I write from personal experience. Because these predators always possess and “will unfailingly use plausible deniability,” the confrontation will be turned against you. Mitch’s advice is to “acknowledge the truth to yourself, and gently, but firmly take steps to separate yourself.”
The last time I confronted this person, I was accused of “burning bridges.” I now recognize that this was one of many statements meant to gaslight, discredit, and manipulate me.
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I desire freedom, peace, joy, and wealth from this life. I’ve found all but the latter since leaving Christianity. That is not to say there there were not moments where I experienced these in my faith, but freedom, joy, and peace have been constants in my spiritual search since rejecting my previous religion. These are desires I will continue to pursue while ignoring the lies that this “path of darkness I’m leading my family down” will end in hell.
You will no longer manipulate me. Your opinions are invalid. Your subtle put-downs, casual racism, offhand insults, and purposeful obscuration will no longer be accepted. I have no interest in a “pleasant relationship without tension.” This bridge is now ash.
